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03 February 2006 @ 04:39 pm
Gen Fic: Double Entendres  
Title: Double Entendres
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Nine
Category: Humor
Spoilers: None
Pairing/Character: Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c
Summary: Why's SG-1 so fascinated with Jack?
Warnings: None
Rating: G

Author's Notes: If you haven't seen RDA's MacGyver MasterCard commercial, go now. ;)


Disclaimer: Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned establishments


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The doorbell hadn't even rung twice when Jack swung the door open. The excitement the former SG-1 felt over seeing Jack again quickly vanished and was replaced with…

The three of them stood there, stunned, staring at Jack's head. Sam and Daniel could have easily been mirror images of each other – their mouths open, their eyes wide – while Teal'c, the most subdued as always, only cocked his head. Slowly, Daniel started to raise his finger to point, but Sam quickly snatched his wrist and brought it to his side.

"Hey," Jack said as if nothing had ever changed. "You got here on time."

"No problems with the flight, Sir," Sam said with a forced smile, nudging Daniel in the ribs for him to shut his mouth.

"As there has been a lull in activity both on Dakara and the SGC, we were able to entertain your request," Teal'c said.

"Though, I guess it can be said that you've been entertaining yourself…" Daniel said, his gaze still riveted to Jack's head.

Jack frowned. "What?"

"Nevermind," Daniel said under his breath. He didn't bother to look at Sam, knowing full well her glare was burning a hole in his neck.

Jack just shrugged, taking a swig from the beer bottle he'd been holding. With the wave of his hand, he beckoned them to come inside and take a look around.

Daniel had already been here before, months earlier when he, Vala, General Landry and Teal'c had come to DC to try to appeal for more funding. Shaking away the unpleasant memory, he eyed the room and noticed Jack hadn't really done much with the place since then. He guessed Jack had been busy with other priorities.

He stared at Jack's head.

"So, how go things?" Jack said. He led them into the kitchen where he had a bunch of paper products thrown over the table.

Sam took the liberty of answering first as she started to set the paper plates and cups onto the table. "Not bad, Sir. Everyone seems to be settling in fine."

"We have had some problems on Dakara, but I am confident that we will overcome them," Teal'c said.

"And Mitchell?" Jack asked.

"He's very up," Daniel replied, thinking about how at times Cameron Mitchell reminded him of Jonas. "He loves the job, for sure. Though, sometimes I feel like we're the tortoise to his hare."

Daniel turned his head at the sound of a snort that quickly morphed into a cough. Sam tapped her chest a couple of times before giving Daniel another pointed look. "Sorry," she said. "I must have swallowed wrong."

"On what?" Jack asked. "The air?"

Sam didn't reply and continued setting the table. Daniel felt like he owed her and moved to help her. She gave him another disgusted look, but didn't reprimand him. After he placed the knives and forks down, he smiled and leaned into her.

"Mid-life crisis," he whispered.

She chuckled, shook her head, and moved away. Jack had shifted from the petty small talk he hated so much into a full detailed report on the upcoming Superbowl. Teal'c nodded every few words or so, but Daniel could see he was in desperate need of rescue.

"The table is all set," Sam announced. She and Daniel didn't miss the relief on Teal'c's face.

"Great," Jack said, clapping his hands together. "Pizza should be here any time."

"We have traveled great lengths to meet you, O'Neill. You have not prepared us a meal yourself?"

Jack just stared at him.

"Look, you hurt Teal'c's feelings," Daniel said, feigning a pout.

Jack rolled his eyes. "It's not like Teal'c would have eaten anything anyway. Would you, Teal'c?"

"I would not."

"Not when all the ingredients are beer," Sam added.

"Hey." Jack looked wounded. "My food's good. Speaking of food, Landry keeping you well-stocked?"

The three of them exchanged knowing glances. Jack was doing anything he could to stay in the loop and feel like he was part of the process, even if he technically still had access to everything anyway. Daniel felt he was probably just a little lonely.

"Of course, Sir."

Daniel nodded. "We even get snacks at three and then naptime for an hour."

Jack glared at him. "Funny."

"Yeah, though not as funny as—"

Sam grabbed Daniel's hand and brought it back to his side.

"So…anything else? Anything exciting?"

Daniel shrugged. "Oh, you know. Just one hair-raising experience after another."

Sam coughed again, this time more loudly. Quickly, she raised her hand to her mouth and bit her lip in a miserable attempt to hide her laughter.

"What?" Jack asked, beginning to lose patience. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Daniel said. "We're just dyeing to see you."

At this point, both Sam and Teal'c were grinning, unabashedly reveling in the joke. Daniel continued to keep his subdued but smug grin – the one he'd learned from Jack – on his face. Jack seemed the least amused.

Sighing, Jack placed his beer on the coffee table and glared at Daniel. "Alright. That's enough. Are you done?"

"Noo…actually, I was just getting started. Or," he gestured with the wave of his hand to Jack's head, "more aptly I should say you were."

"That's nice," Jack said flatly. "All the ladies at the office love it."

"I'm sure they do, Sir," Sam said, suppressing a giggle.

"Indeed," Teal'c added with a smile of his own.

"It wasn't supposed to come out like this," Jack said in defense, pointing to his head. "The damn box lied to me."

Sam looked like she was going to burst at this point. "Lied to you, Sir?"

Jack sighed heavily, his patented exasperated look returning to his face.

Daniel just grinned. "Come on, Jack. And what kind of friends would we be if we didn't say anything?"

"It is the Tau'ri way."

The doorbell rang and Jack walked away from them, shaking his head. Daniel felt a little sorry over his behavior, but not enough to keep him from just one more.

"Remember what they say, Jack." He smiled at his friend as they walked toward the door. "Hair today; gone tomorrow."

Daniel chuckled over his own little joke and noticed this time that Jack wasn't frowning. With a clap to Daniel's shoulder, Jack leaned over and smiled at him.

"Yeah, and when you're in your fifties, we'll revisit this conversation."

And for the first time that day, Daniel had nothing to say.
 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
Working for the Mandroid: Boysmoonshayde on February 3rd, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

Btw, I recced a Sam fic of yours at <"lj user="stargateficrec"> last month. The one about Sam and naquadah. I've always liked that fic.
(Deleted comment)
Working for the Mandroidmoonshayde on February 3rd, 2006 10:38 pm (UTC)
I obviously can't tag well today. Oops!
(Deleted comment)
Working for the Mandroid: Beautymoonshayde on February 3rd, 2006 10:58 pm (UTC)
Oh I read the funny one too which, in a serious way, would be so worth exploring on the show (but never will). But since good Sam fic is so hard to find, I really wanted to recc somethign serious ;)
glitzgal on February 3rd, 2006 10:39 pm (UTC)
"Mid-life crisis," he whispered.

heh


Jack rolled his eyes. "It's not like Teal'c would have eaten anything anyway. Would you, Teal'c?"

"I would not."


I love it!

Jack was doing anything he could to stay in the loop and feel like he was part of the process, even if he technically still had access to everything anyway. Daniel felt he was probably just a little lonely.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Poor Jack!!

*hugs Jack*

Poor baby! He probably is lonely, he misses his team!

"What?" Jack asked, beginning to lose patience. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Daniel said. "We're just dyeing to see you."



ROTFL Daniel is such a smartie!

Sighing, Jack placed his beer on the coffee table and glared at Daniel. "Alright. That's enough. Are you done?"

hee!

"That's nice," Jack said flatly. "All the ladies at the office love it."


*snicker*

Well, we all knew Jack was popular with the ladies ;)



"Yeah, and when you're in your fifties, we'll revisit this conversation."

*pets Jack*

He still looks good, even with the bad dye job ;)


Enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing!


Working for the Mandroid: Jackmoonshayde on February 3rd, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
heh heh. Well, that commerical asked for it, you know ;)

So, um, where's my truck porn?
Matilda36: JD Dolls moonshaydematilda36 on February 4th, 2006 06:29 am (UTC)
Oh Jack, really you need your team to babysit you...;)

Really, really funny.
cyren_2132cyren_2132 on February 13th, 2006 05:00 pm (UTC)
Okay, where was I when this went up? Probably looking for the Mastercard commercial...anyway, very cute and grinworthy. It was a challenge to not laugh in the computer lab...I think I still got some weird looks, though.
Working for the Mandroidmoonshayde on February 13th, 2006 06:27 pm (UTC)
Heh, oops. Computer lab work is tough because we're human and we can't not react to what we see.

Sometimes it's fun to write nonsense fic. After I saw the commercial, how could I resist?

Thanks for reading :)