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22 October 2007 @ 08:13 pm
Go. Watch. Now.  
You have to go and watch this French dub of a scene from Window of Opportunity right now.

http://zats-clear.livejournal.com/38966.html

ETA: Yup, I know it's a parody. But it's so funny I recommend people to watch it anyway!
 
 
Current Mood: excitedlmao
 
 
 
Autumn Dandelion: Stargate - in my happy placeautumndandelion on October 23rd, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
Holy crap! That was hilarious!!!

= D
Working for the Mandroid: and beyondmoonshayde on October 23rd, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
Wasn't that great? Hee.
Amy Cooperamycooper on October 23rd, 2007 12:51 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*
Working for the Mandroidmoonshayde on October 23rd, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
I'm still laughing!
Michelle: report - hmm...seramercury on October 23rd, 2007 01:00 am (UTC)
OMG! That was awesome!! LMAO!!
Suzannesuzannemarie on October 23rd, 2007 01:18 am (UTC)
Heee! I just about fell off the sofa listening to this. It's like Teal'c was being voiced by Beeker or something.

It's the little "aaaa"s that make it art, though. And did they have Teal'c snoring in the boardroom?
(no subject) - majorsamfan on October 23rd, 2007 01:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moonshayde on October 23rd, 2007 01:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - majorsamfan on October 23rd, 2007 06:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moonshayde on October 23rd, 2007 01:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mysticalweather on October 23rd, 2007 07:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
crazymadjo on October 23rd, 2007 02:00 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure this is just a fan parody. Run the page through Babel fish, and read the comments - "shrimp" jokes, etc. It's hilarious, though.
Working for the Mandroid: Figure Outmoonshayde on October 23rd, 2007 02:03 am (UTC)
Oh yeah. I definitely feel it's a parody. When I first started watching, i wasn't sure and then i heard hammond and then the snoring and well...LOL

It's listed as a parody on the website, too. And the French comments point to it (from what I remember from my French).

If you watch pt 2, it has the Macgyver theme in it! Hee!

But it was good fun. Made me laugh for sure.
(no subject) - ticklie on October 23rd, 2007 02:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moonshayde on October 23rd, 2007 02:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ticklie on October 23rd, 2007 02:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ticklie on October 23rd, 2007 02:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ticklie on October 23rd, 2007 02:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moonshayde on October 23rd, 2007 02:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ticklie on October 23rd, 2007 02:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - zats_clear on August 11th, 2009 02:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
ticklie: sam smilingticklie on October 23rd, 2007 06:41 am (UTC)
Part 1 translation
Sam:*sighs* What's this sh*tty equipment? (using slang, no less)

Jack, looking at sun: What do you think it is, Carter?

S: Well, actually, I have no idea.

J, looking surprised: What? Seriously, you don't know?

S: Why is it always me who's supposed to be the most intelligent? Couldn't you ask Teal'c or Daniel?

J: You should know, all the same.

S: Yeah... Well, in this case, I have no idea (what it is), sorry.

J, turning away: You really disappoint me right now.

Daniel's taking rubbings of the ruins.

D: Oh my god, it's not possible. I think I've... I've found something, I think. Really, there are some strange...I don't understand. Take a look at these symbols. They look like Guatemalan shrimps.

(The French fans evidently share Jack's opinion of Daniel)

AlienArcheologist (AA from now on): Those aren't shrimps. They're (indistinct, sounds like "gamba") with sweet and sour sauce. [indistinct] good.

D: But I don't understand why... Gamba, that makes no sense.

AA: Ah, AH! listen to this little tune, you'll see. (device makes noise) It's the cry of the gamba of this planet.

D: Huh?

AA: (indistinct. This guy has a very heavy lisp)

D: But it (I'm assuming he means the MALP) detected shrimps on this planet. (looks disappointed) When I'll tell my friends...

AA, pointing gun at Daniel: You're dead, a**hole.

D: Huh? No, don't do that! (you can guess just how convincing that sounds in that voice)

AA shoots. Daniel falls to the ground.

Device activates, wormhole engages.

J: Careful!

The three of them duck under the unstable matter stream or whatever it's called.

(On Earth)

Gate Technician: General!

Hammond: (squeaks) What's that?

Tech: Don't know.

(Back on the planet)

J to Teal'c and Sam: You, you! With me. (Because apparently saying "the two of you" would lead to confusion)

AA: (indistinct)

J: (indistinct, tackles the guy)

S: Colonel?

*zap* Jack's back at the SGC eating froot loops.

D: And then, the shrimp comes out and says waah WAH, like that. Isn't that frightening?

J: What?

Sam and Daniel look at each other.

D: The shrimp.

Jack looks confused, and rightly so, I might add.

S: Hey, you all right?

J: I don't know.

Opening credits.

J: How long have I been here?

D: Er...two hours?

J: No.

D: One hour? (He's just guessing at this point because he obviously has no idea how much time passed while he was telling the Tale of The Shrimp.)

J: Seriously?

D: Yes.

J: No.

D: Yes.

J, looks around: I've been eating cereals for one hour.

S: high-pitched "huh?" But that's normal, you love them. They taste awfully good.

J: Seriously?

D: You eat those all the time, my colonel. (Translated literally for the lulz)

S: Oh, that reminds me I have to shop for more of those.

J: Why?

Sam and Daniel share a puzzled look.

D: This week it's SG-1 that's in charge of the restaurant, that's why.

J: You're joking. (gets up) I don't shop.

S: Huh?

D: Ah.

S, getting up to follow Jack: Colonel, there's brioche, too. (Not sure if I heard that right. Brioche is the cake from the notorious misquote "Let them eat cake")

END of part 1.
mehhhhhh: [SG] Hammond making it upcnidarian on October 23rd, 2007 06:42 am (UTC)
Re: Part 1 translation
I love you.
Re: Part 1 translation - ticklie on October 23rd, 2007 07:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Part 1 translation - cnidarian on October 23rd, 2007 08:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
mehhhhhh: [africa] mad crazehcnidarian on October 23rd, 2007 06:41 am (UTC)
This is BEAUTIFUL!!

Hammond (that first bit in Part 1 where the tech guy is like, "General?" and he's like, "Quoi?" and it's all high pitch and omfg I nearly died)

Teal'c!

Janet being all sigh-y and talking about cholesterol!

The Macgyver music! The random noises! The noises which should have been in the original, technically - Sam masticating for instance hehehe!

Daniel - meeow?

HEEEEEE!
ticklie: teal'c humourticklie on October 23rd, 2007 07:42 am (UTC)
Part 2...
Janet shines penlight into Jack's eyes.

D: Do you realize what you told him/her? It's like a big (indistinct), you said, is that right?

J: No! It's normal.

D: Oh, ok. Starting over. Are you feeling all right?

Teal'c: POTATO!

(This conversation makes no sense to me either, but Teal'c still wins!)

D, chanelling inner detective: Unless...you actually like shopping...

J: Yes! I love it. But it's not because I like shopping that I'm about to start doing it for SG-1, for f*ck's sake!

T, removing thermometer from mouth: My temperature is perfect.
(Yes, Teal'c. Everything about you is perfect.)

J, to Daniel: Put yourself in my shoes, I'm a colonel, all the same.

Janet sighs.

Cut to mess room where Jack's drinking something and Sam sits down.

The two exchange inarticulate noises for a moment.

S: Agah?

J: What?

S: *sighs* So, what's new?

J: Well, uh, my watch isn't working properly anymore. Running slightly late.

S: Ah! Ouf. Ah, you know, your planet, your ball of fire that you observed?

J: What about it?

S: I've mapped the curve of the rate of the radio-atmospheric density with respect to the cyclic correlation. (That's probably not right. It's just technobabble, ok?) It's fascinating. And you know what? It's absolutely unbelievable.

J, sarcastically: Yeah? Groovy!

S: I've never seen something like it. I don't understand. We should ask Daniel. Maybe he'd know. (This Sam seems to think Daniel is all-knowing.)

J, in English with an exagerated accent: Oh, yeah!

S: What I mean is that...Well, actually, I have no idea what I meant to say. That's your fault. You're here with me and you're so adorable. I don't know where I stand anymore.

J: Huh? Do you know that I love you?

S: Yeah... I know, but...I should really get going.(Note that this exchange took place in formal language, addressing each other with 'vous' instead of 'tu' which would be more appropriate due to the nature of their discussion.)

J: So be it, pipi. (I don't know if that last part is correct.)

J, sipping tea, or whatever: Hmm, (indistinct) flavour. It's good, I think. (Again, not sure) (Indistinct)

Shot of Stargate. Alarms ring.

Hammond: (indistinct)

Tech: Damn it, this is full of crap. The one time I haven't f*cked up!

Jack, in English: Cool!

Cut to froot loops.

D: And then, the shrimp comes out and says waah WAH, like that. Isn't that frightening?

J, speechless, checks watch.

S: Colonel? Something wrong?

D: *eyebrows*

J: Yeah, everything's ok. Uh...

Cut to Janet and penlight.

J: And here we go again.

Janet: Be careful with your cholesterol levels! You'll watch that from now on, hmm?

J: Stop! I would like a Maxi Bestof menu with... a big chocolate milkshake.

High-pitched incomprehensible sentence, not sure from whom.

(Back on the planet)

SG-1 emerges from the Stargate.

S: Hop-la! And we've reached our destination, everybody out of the vehicle!

J points: Me, I say we should go in THAT direction. (Because there were so many other choices, huh?)

S, bewildered: But how did you know that?

J: Oh, just like that. Let's just say that I often come here on vacation.

AA appears, humming to himself.

Jack points his gun.

AA: Oh my god! *hands up*

D: Oh, deary me! (I'm not sure I can translate the gayness)

J: Stop or I kill (you). Put down your weapon, scumbag!

AA: It's not me, it's her!

J: You think no one's tried that trick on me before?

AA: But what's going on?

S: I think he's unarmed, colonel.

Teal'c: Oh, that son of a bitch.

J: You (polite form), shut up. And you (informal), I said don't move, understand?

AA: Oh, alright. Can I show you something?

J: *makes constipated sounds of uncertainty*

AA: So this is a table that was used in Ancient times. There was -

J: Hey, hey! (Tries to stop him from touching it)

The device begins to play McGyver's theme song as they all look on in wonder. There's lightening and weird sound effects.

Sam: Careful!

J: Shut it! ("I'm listening to my theme song, captain!")

S: Hey!

D: Hey, but that's -

Loop begins anew.
ticklieticklie on October 23rd, 2007 07:44 am (UTC)
Re: Part 2...
Sorry, the last bit didn't fit into the comment above.

D: ...the shrimp comes out and says waah WAH, like that. Isn't that frightening?

J: *drops spoon*

Sam looks concerned.

D: Uh, it was just a dream...

End Part 2.
Re: Part 2... - cnidarian on October 23rd, 2007 08:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Part 2... - ticklie on October 23rd, 2007 08:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
ticklie: sam smilingticklie on October 23rd, 2007 08:55 am (UTC)
Part 3...
So, I'm not sure of a lot of the stuff because the quality of the sound wasn't very good. In some places I just wrote what it sounded like what they were saying.

Image of what appears to be a sun.

Sam, lecturing: Thus, we observe-

Jack, interrupting: A sun. That's a sun... That's a great big sun.(The others stare at him) Well, it's obviously a sun. It's all round - if you don't know what a sun is, I advise you all to return to school to learn... what a... is *fizzles out*

Teal'c to the rescue: Surely you went to school. Perhaps you have seen this at school?

S: No.

T: Then maybe you should return there, by god. (That's actually my wild guess of what he's saying. It's really difficult to understand him with that voice.)

J: Absolutely! You are perfectly, uh...

T: (Indistinct)

J: Absolutely perfectly. You are all...dunces!

T: Right. Now, we now what it is. Well, there you go.

J, agrees: There you go.

*high-pitched bzuh? from Hammond*

J: You'll have to revise seriously, or you're all retaking this grade. You've gotta make an effort!

All-around WTF from the others.

Cut to Janet and penlight.

J: Stop it!

Janet: Huh?

J: Does it amuse you to blind me? You want me to shove your stupid light down your throat?

Cut to corridor with creepy noises.

Sam: General, that's enough. We really need to talk. I think the colonel is starting to lose it.

Hammond: How are your kids? (O_o)

S: *shrugs* The kids... The kids (are ok, I assume).

H: Exactly. Hm!

S: To come back to our sun story... How did he guess? It's crazy, isn't it?

H: (indistinct) me I want to talk about taps, hoods, big toes...

Cut to Daniel's office.

D, hums to himself.

D: This. This... ok, let's go!*hums*

J: Stay in here!

Teal'c: *echoes Jack*

J: We need to talk.

D: Um...

J: What's new?

D: Look, I've discovered that there are only shrimps on your planet. I'd really like to visit it later.

J: What? You're not budging from here. You've got more important things to do.

D: Really?

T: You listen to the man, you (informal address). Don't you budge from here.

J: And our sun, then? You don't think you should be working on that?

D: Yes, yes. I'm working on it right now. We've discovered signs of life on that sun, BIG shrimps. And, I'm hungry.

J: I don't give a damn about your shrimps! Is it or is it not a sun?

D: Hmmm... Scientifically speaking, I think we can effectively call it a sun.

J: There, you see! That wasn't hard, was it?

D: Yeah, but see, Sam's still studying it and she should call me - (phone rings)

D: Hello? Uh huh. Ok, right, we're coming. (To Jack) Sam has new information.

T: We're returning immediately.

Sam, lecturing in front of giant display of galaxy: I've studied the molecular structure of our galaxy, and it's surprising... Apparently, it's not a sun. We were all wrong. (Snores in the background) In reality, the surface temperature approaches minus 120 degrees celcius. That's absolutely remarkable, isn't it? Teal'c?

J: Leave him alone. He's sleeping.

S: So we're going to try to observe the molecular structure of the planet with more precision. Also, the planet was making a very strange noise.

Daniel appears fascinated.

D: Miaow?

S: No, that's the sound cats make, Daniel. We really need to do something. So I suggest that we go in person to that planet to observe what's going on.

Hammond: Yay! It's a go! (Paraphrased)

Cut to gate dialling.

Tech: Chevron 5 encoded... Chevron 6 encoded... And the seventh chevron refuses to lock.

S: Why?

Tech, whines: I have no idea! It's not my fault.

S: (says something that sounds like an insult)

Tech: Non-scheduled activation! I have no idea what's going on!
(My chair has armrests, but I metaphorically fell off it just now)

Hammond: Close the lid! (okay, maybe he means the iris, but that's how it translates.)

J: Damn it.

S: Golly, I'm suddenly beset by this feeling of thirst. I'm probably going to die if I (indistinct).

Loops begins again.

D: And then the shrimp comes out and says waah WAH, like that. Isn't that frightening?

J: *sighs* I'm tired with this.

End part 3
mehhhhhh: [SG] Hammond making it upcnidarian on October 23rd, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Part 3...
D: Miaow?

S: No, that's the sound cats make, Daniel.


And Hammond when he's all, "Yey, it's a go!"

ROFL!!
ticklie: sam smilingticklie on October 23rd, 2007 09:53 am (UTC)
Part 4.
Daniel: Last time there was a shrimp all alone in a corner. It was so painful. That made me so sad.

J: I don't care. I don't want to know. Something crazy is happening to me and Teal'c and apparently... it seems to me that it's caused by this thing! *shows screen with the Ancient markings displayed*

D: Are you sure you don't want to go to the infirmary, maybe take two or three tests...? Because this thing is just a stone.
(Dude, Daniel, you feeling ok?)

J: For god's sake! I foresaw this. I recorded everything. We just have to listen, now. *plays recorder*

Recorded female voice: Dessert number 32, the Rick Chocolate cake with shrimps... (Not sure about the "Rick") For four people. (Jack bangs the recorder on the table) Ow! For four people...

D: It's the dessert with shrimps that I recorded on that. *sheepish* ...shrimps.

Disembodied voice: ...and incorporate the shrimps cut in small pieces. Add the eggs.

Teal'c: Add the eggs! Add the eggs inside! (guessing here)

J: Stop. Stop! Stop. (to Daniel) So, are you going to explain this to us? That's what you're here for.

T: I know! You need 5 eggs.

D: Listen, I'd like to help you, but I don't even know what's happening to you. You'll have to explain everything to me. On top of it, everything related to the stone is hmm!

J: Hm? Ah, ok, let's see what I can do. (Daniel turns the page the right way around)

Cut to Sam again.

S: Apparently the sun is becoming very strange. It's a sort of cyclic vortex field that affects Jack and Teal'c's space-time. They're constantly living the same day because of this vortex. Jack told us about a stone on a planet which we have apparently explored in Jack and Teal'c's future.
(OMG, Sam! Stop making me abuse the apostrophes!)

Hammond: And it's this stone that caused all those problems?

S: Not exactly. In fact, I discovered this. (shiny lights)

H: Hmmm.

S: Those are shining stars, and that's us. In fact -brace yourself!- it's at this point that a sort of mysterious force that we discovered converges. And that correlates with the shrimp fields of, hmm, the whole universe, I think. Which of course disturbs Teal'c and Jack.

H: What does vortex mean?

S: Well, it's simple, the shrimps are emitting the same frequency as Teal'c and Jack. It's not more complicated than that.

H: Me, I've got a helicopter!

S: Listen, the only thing you have to understand is that they're in trouble. So we have to help them.

Cut to Jack reciting latin.

J: *random latin words* ...hop, says little Daniel.

J: I'm tired of this.

Teal'c: This has no meaning, I swear.

J: And here we go again. You know what's the crappiest part of this? When we wake up, every time, Daniel is telling me about shrimps.

T: You're not the only one with problems.

Cut to Teal'c's loop beginning.

Clumsy guy: Sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't do it on purpose.

T: Hey, that's (incomprehensible)!

Clumsy guy: I swear, I didn't do it on purpose.

T: Of course. Next time, you gonna get hit. (my best approximation)

Cut to Daniel's office.

J: Not finished yet?

D: Huh? No.

Loop ends.

D: Uh-huh. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes That's a, uh-huh. That's an "a" and that's a "b".

T: He's slow, all the same.

D: Huh?

J: He's right. It would really help us out if you could go faster.

End loop.

Begin sequence of Jack playing around.

J, watching Teal'c juggling: Not bad, not bad.

Loop ends.

D: Ok, so, uh... (Teal'c and Jack are juggling)

D: Careful, the general was around here just now...
End.
(Deleted comment)
Working for the Mandroid: and beyondmoonshayde on October 24th, 2007 02:18 am (UTC)
Oh it was hilarious! And no it's not real LOL

Did you read the translations? OMG. It makes it even funnier :)
(Deleted comment)