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31 October 2004 @ 12:46 am
The Broken Dreams; Shattered Memories Series  
Well, since I have gone ahead and posted Duality and Apartment 8-3, I thought I would post some of my earlier stories. My Broken Dreams; Shattered Memories Series (Man, that needs a better name)is one that I am really proud of, for some reason. It was nominated for the 2004 SG-1 Fanfiction Awards, but I didn't win. Doesn't make me any less proud though. Seven parts with seven different character perspectives. I wrote these at the height of my creativity so I guess they'll always be special to me.

So, here is Part One.

Title: Beyond Blue
Author: Moonshayde
Season/Category: Missing Scene from "Fallen." Part One of the Broken Dreams; Shattered Memories series.
Season 7
Spoilers: Fallen
Pairing/Character: Janet/Daniel friendship.
Summary: Janet helps Daniel open up as he is reintroduced to the base.
Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned establishments


Doctor Janet Fraiser struggled to hold onto her professionalism.

But in truth, she was anxious, excited, and fearful all at once.

General Hammond had warned her that SG-1 would be bringing back a man that appeared to be Daniel Jackson. She did not doubt SG-1, or the general himself. But how could he be Daniel? Not after she had been there by his side as he succumbed to radiation poisoning. It wasn't possible.

But then again, this was the SGC. She had witnessed a number of strange events during her time here.

Smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in her lab coat, she cleared her throat, her gaze locked onto the entrance of the infirmary.

She gasped.

Colonel O'Neill walked toward her, slowly, guiding a man clothed in various shades of blue. The man looked around curiously, appearing lost both physically and emotionally as he studied his surroundings.

I'll be damned, she thought, staring at him. He looked exactly like Doctor Jackson.

"Doctor?" the colonel questioned, drawing her from her thoughts. "You've been briefed on the situation, right?"

She nodded. Amnesia. Reportedly, Daniel was suffering from memory loss. And from what General Hammond had stated, it was a severe case at that.

"Hi, Daniel. I'm Doctor Janet Fraiser." She extended her hand to him.

He looked down at her hand, frowning, his blue eyes rolling upward to meet her gaze.

She did not flinch. Keeping with her smile, she beckoned him closer, despite the queasiness in her stomach. This man should not be standing in front of her. And yet, he was.

"I've been your doctor for years," she explained to the unusually quiet man. "I understand you can't remember anything about your life?"

He shook his head. "No, nothing aside from the last two…"

"Months," the colonel finished for Daniel. He glared at Janet. "Look, we all know he can't remember squat. Can't you just, I don't know, do something?"

Janet remained firm, having had the opportunity to deal with Jack O'Neill's personality on many occasions. "And as you're aware, nothing is ever simple, Colonel." She smiled at Daniel, who had returned to his study of the infirmary walls. "I'll need to give him a physical, run a few tests, and then we can take it from there."

"Tests?" Colonel O'Neill's voice was laced with disgust.

"I'd like to make sure he's all right. After …"

Her voice trailed off as she pivoted her head to Daniel. He was staring at her, his frown deepening. "After what?"

Janet attempted to remain cool. Had the colonel told Daniel about his death? If he had, did he know the exact nature of what had happened?

"Nothing," Colonel O'Neill said quickly, snapping Janet from her thoughts. He shot her what she thought was a warning glare. "Maybe we should get on with this?"

"Of course," Janet answered, joining the colonel in avoiding such a touchy subject. At least her question had been answered in part. She knew the exact details about Daniel's death would surface at some point, but she didn't feel this was the right time or place to touch upon those facts.

Janet smiled again, noting Sam, Teal'c, and General Hammond had entered the infirmary. She wasn't oblivious to the obvious concern that had etched itself into their faces.

"Looks like the gang's all here," O'Neill joked.

"I think you're missing one," Daniel remarked, moving his right index finger to count the people in the room.

"Never mind," O'Neill stated. "It's not important."

"Jonas is working on the surveying we're doing, " Sam explained. She quickly jumped to the subject at hand. "You okay, Daniel? Does any of this look familiar to you?"

He shook his head slowly. "No," he replied simply.

Janet nodded, beckoning him closer with her hand, stealing a sideways glance at the colonel and the others. She knew that her colleagues could read past her friendly demeanor. She was worried. Short, simple statements from Doctor Jackson had never been the norm, and were usually a key indicator that something much more sinister lie beneath. She sincerely hoped that was not the case.

"Okay, Daniel, why don't you follow me down this hall and we can get started okay?"

Daniel looked around, his gaze settling on Colonel O'Neill briefly before his focus returned to Janet. She noticed the nervousness he was attempting to keep hidden in his wooden face, and the hint of fear trapped within his eyes.

How could it possibly feel to have no memory? His position was one that she just could not fathom.

"It's alright," O'Neill said with a smile. "Once she's done poking and prodding, it's smooth sailing after that."

Daniel didn't laugh.

The colonel cleared his throat. "Shall we?"


"Just this way," Janet instructed, guiding the two men down the hallway that led to the private rooms in the infirmary.

She stopped in front of a door, and pushed it open. "Okay, Daniel…"

"Daniel?" she heard O'Neill ask hurriedly.

Janet jerked her head, moving quickly to where Daniel was standing. His face was white as a sheet, his blue eyes lack-luster. Concerned, she called for a nurse and approached him carefully.

"Daniel?" she probed gently. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he whispered, his gaze dead centered on the room. "I just rather not go in there."

"Okay, that's okay."

"Maybe we should find him another room?" O'Neill asked, his face pinched with the stress of the situation.

"Of course," she said, faking a smile. His condition was a definite concern for her. She was frightened by his recognition of the very room where he had died.

What if he eventually remembered the details of his death? How would that affect someone? How could any person deal with that kind of trauma?

She shook the thoughts away, keeping her mind focused on the job before her. Walking over to another one of the private rooms in the infirmary, she opened the door and ushered in the two men, as well as the nurse.

"Alright, Daniel, now this is pretty simple. I am just going to give you a quick exam, and run some tests just to check you out. Are you okay with that?"

She noticed that he hesitated, only nodding after stealing a quick glance at the colonel. "Yes," he finally answered.

"Good," she said with a grin, strolling over to the corner. Quickly, she grabbed a hospital gown and flopped it onto the exam bench, and grabbed an empty clipboard.

"I need you to change out of those robes and into that," she said pointing to the flimsy material. "We'll give you some privacy to change while I grab your file, okay?"

"Okay," he said quietly, staring at the white gown.

Inhaling deeply, she pushed down another wave of anxiety. She gestured with a quick jerk of her head to the door, motioning the colonel and the nurse to follow. Nurse Clemmons quickly walked away to retrieve Daniel's file, leaving O'Neill and Janet alone for the moment.

Carefully, she closed the door.

"So what do you think?" O'Neill asked her, wringing his hands together.

What could she possibly tell him?

"For all intents and purposes, he looks like Doctor Daniel Jackson," she offered, knowing her statement was of little use.

"Thanks, Doc, for clearing that up for me."

"Colonel," she addressed patiently. "I don't know what to tell you. I haven't examined him yet and frankly, I don't know what I will find. And when I do have all his results, I may still not have an answer. This is something well beyond anything we're used to. And that's a lot, considering all the strange things I've had to deal with from your adventures through the Stargate."

He frowned, shoving his hands in his pocket. "But you think it's him, right?"

"I'll be able to give my opinion once I have finished his exam." She paused, exhaling, softening her tone as she gazed into Colonel O'Neill's eyes. "Even if it is him, we don't know if his memories will return. He may never be the same person again."

O'Neill cleared his throat and nodded, avoiding her gaze. "Yeah. Carter mentioned something to that effect." He shifted his weight, moving toward the door. "I just don't get how he got this way in the first place."

"I know. And I know this isn't what you want to hear, but we just have to be patient and wait this out." She rubbed his arm soothingly. "I'll see what I can do. And I will get my best to work on this problem."

"You already are," he said softly, casting his gaze aside as Nurse Clemmons returned with the file. Janet thanked her, dismissing the nurse, before moving back towards the room.

She smiled, touched by his kind words. "Now, Colonel, if you'll excuse me, I want to check up on my patient."

He nodded slowly, shoving his hands back into his pockets as he stepped away from the door.

Janet smiled again, closing the door behind her as she moved toward Daniel. He appeared extremely uncomfortable, shifting restlessly on the gurney, using his hands to cover any exposed part of his body.

"Is there anything I can do it make this more comfortable for you?"

He seemed to consider this. "You could get my memory back."

Such a simple, honest request. Yet, such a difficult task.

"We're going to do our best to get you back to who you were. If you're willing, of course."

"I'd like to remember, but it's hopeless," he conceded with a sigh.

She had never seen him so dejected. Not even when he had lost Sha're. Daniel was a private man. He had scarcely ever talked about these losses. He had even been detached about his own pending death.

"Oh, I don't know about that," she said, flipping through his file. "You're a rather resourceful man."

"A lot of good it does me if I can't remember."

Janet nodded. This wasn't going to be easy. Of all the aspects of Daniel's personality that had seemed to stick with him…

"Well, then, let's begin with what you do remember. Do you want to share what you've been doing for the past two months?"

Daniel looked down at his hands. "Not much. A group found me out in a field. I've been living with them ever since."

"I've heard they are wonderful people," she said gently, wheeling over a tray full of medical instruments.

He was watching her carefully. "Yes, they are. They accepted me without any hesitation. And gave me a name."

"A name?" she asked brightly. "What do they call you?"


"Well, that's a nice name."

"It means 'naked one.'"

"Oh." Janet bit her lip and looked down at her tray. She grabbed a new pair of gloves.

"I like Daniel better."

She slapped on her gloves, causing the man to jump.

"I'm glad. I like Daniel as well," she told him.

He blushed slightly, but continued. "Their leader, Shamda, even wanted me to go out and explore, to see if I could remember." He sighed. "No matter how hard I tried…"

"Maybe you were trying too hard. Just let it come to you." She picked up her penlight and approached him. "Whenever I have a problem that I can't solve, I usually take a step back and allow some time for my mind to relax. Then I usually find the solution."

"Excuse me for saying this, because I don't mean to offend you, Doctor…" He paused, his forehead wrinkling, "…Fraiser, but I can't remember who I am."

"Stare straight ahead, please." She flashed the light in his eyes, taking note of his dilation. "You haven't offended me, Daniel." She placed the light back, and retrieved another item. "And you can call me Janet." She gazed at him intently. "I can't begin to understand what you're going through. Just know that you have many friends here at the SGC and we're trying our best to help."

"I know," he said with a sigh.

"I'm going to check your ears now, okay?"


Janet peered inside his right ear, satisfied with the result. Next, she quietly moved over to his left.

"Janet, what is Jim like?"

Startled, she stepped back, eyeing him carefully. "Jim?"

"Jim. The guy that just left."

"Jim? Ji—Oh, Jack. Colonel O'Neill?" she asked.

He nodded. "Right. Jack. Jack," he repeated again. "What's he like?"

"What do you mean?"

Daniel shrugged. "I don't know. There's just something about him I can't seem to…" His voice trailed off as he sat deep in thought. "He keeps watching me."

Janet chuckled, her laugh nearly surprising her patient. "Colonel O'Neill means no harm. He's very protective of you. Of all of you. He has a very strict philosophy when it comes to those under his command and care."

"Then, I am in the military as well?"

She shook her head. "No, not exactly. You're a civilian assigned to his team."

"He mentioned I was a doctor. A doctor like you, then?" he asked.

She shook her head again, her heart going out to her friend. "No, you're an academic. You study the past."

He cocked his head, his face pensive as he mulled over her words. She took the opportunity to check his left ear as he thought.

"Maybe that is why I felt drawn to the ruins on the planet."

She smiled, biting down a twinge of excitement. "That does sound like you."

For the first time she had seen him, he smiled back.

"Hate to break the moment, but I am going to have to ask you to untie your gown and lie down on the table for a moment. I need to take a good look at you."

She could see the disdain in his eyes, but he did not protest. Instead, he untied the strings that held the gown together, sighed, and rested his back on the examination bench.

Before she could say anything, he spoke again. "I have a scar."

Janet frowned, noting that he indeed had a scar on his lower right abdomen. So, even though Daniel had ascended into a form of energy, his old body dissolving, his new one had the same markings as the old one.

She widened her eyes and blinked. Even her own thoughts sounded like something out of science fiction.

"Your appendix burst a few years ago," she told him. "You nearly died."

"I did die," he stated, lifting his head. "Or so I've heard."

"Yes…but you didn't die because of appendicitis. We caught that in time," she told him, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

"I get the impression I'm here often," he said suddenly.

She smiled, checking over the area where his scar remained. "Don’t get the wrong impression. You, Colonel O'Neill, Sam, Teal'c, and the other SG teams all have a habit of stopping by here."

"Then, you must be the most popular woman on the base," he remarked with a grin.

A joke? Her smile widened. It wasn't exactly what she had hoped for, but at least it was better than his subdued attitude.

"Oh, now see, I don't know about that," she replied with an evil grin. "Because here comes the part you're not going to like very much."

He pursed his lips together, allowing another sigh, his gaze rolling to the ceiling.

"Just relax and do what I say."


"Well, now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Janet said exuberantly, standing before Daniel.

"Uh, no, surprisingly not," he said, his tone soft as he blushed slightly.

She grinned. "I'm just waiting for the blood work to come back, and then you'll be free to go. I don't really see the need to keep you—what's the matter?" she asked suddenly, noting the frown crease his face.

He pointed to the door. "Pacing," he stated simply.

Pacing? She turned around, watching a shadow flicker from beneath the door. It flickered again. And again.

Colonel O'Neill.

"Alright, Daniel. I have some fresh clothes for you to change into. They are over there on the chair. I'll be right back."

"Okay. I'll be done in a moment," he told her.

Janet quickly made her way to the door, opening it slightly. She was caught off guard as the colonel poked his head through.

"Hey, how we—"

"Colonel, a moment please?" Janet stated firmly, shoving him back into the hall alongside with her.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"He's trying to get dressed. Give the man some privacy. He's been through a great ordeal."

O'Neill shrugged. "Yeah, I know. But geez, do you know how long it's been? How long does it take you to exam a guy, for crying out loud?"

"You know first hand, Colonel."

"Don't I," he replied wryly. He then straightened himself, all business, gesturing with his head to the door. "So how is he?"


"I'm done," Daniel shouted.

"Just a moment, Colonel."

Janet backed into the door, grabbing the handle and squeezed inside. Daniel was fully dressed, wearing some spare BDU's, waiting patiently on the gurney for her return. She grinned at him, waving her free hand, using the other in a struggle to shut the door.

O'Neill's head popped in once again.


"No, it's okay," Daniel said at last. "You can let him in."

Sighing with defeat, Janet released the door, allowing the Colonel entrance. He beamed happily, obviously gloating from his success, as he came to meet Daniel.

Then, the phone rang.

"Ah no, no, no," Jack moaned.

Janet placed her clipboard on the nearby counter and grabbed the phone. "Fraiser." She smiled. "Of course he is." Her smile broadened. "Colonel?"

O'Neill muttered something under his breath before snatching the phone from her. "You're just loving it, aren't you?"

Janet hummed to herself as she grabbed her clipboard and settled down by Daniel's side.

"I must have missed something," Daniel commented.

"Oh, it's nothing. We always have a little power play in the infirmary. He does forget that this is my domain and I have the final say on everything that goes out of here."

"I see."

She could tell he didn't.

"Dammit," Colonel O'Neill swore, slamming down the phone. "Doesn't anyone see I am in the middle of something important?"

"General Hammond needs you?"

"No, Jonas," he said irately. "I don't understand a word he says but still he needs me for some…thing."

"You are his commanding officer, Sir," Janet reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah," O'Neill mumbled heading to the door. He turned to Daniel. "Don't get me wrong. Jonas is a nice kid and all. But he's more of a pain than you." He halted and Janet sucked in a deep breath. "Uh, sorry."

Daniel looked bewildered. "It's, uh, it's okay."

The colonel cringed. "Yeah. I'll be right back." With an apologetic glance to Janet, he walked out of the room and rounded the corner.

Daniel immediately turned to her, the frown having returned once again. "A pain?"

She smiled weakly. "You and the colonel…tend to have different philosophies about life. And you're both extremely vocal about them."

"I see."

She could tell that he didn't.

And now she was getting that uncomfortable feeling again.

"Let me go and check on your blood work. I am going to leave the door open, and Nurse Clemmons and an SF are going to stay in here with you, okay?"

"Yeah. Not that I have much choice though, right?"


"You control the power here."

Her eyes twinkled. "And don't you forget it."


"Oh, you're back."

Janet smiled at Daniel, walking into the private room. She acknowledged the SF standing guard, and beckoned the nurse to her. Grabbing a few charts, she added them to the blood tests results she had picked up from the lab, and completed her file.

Daniel waited patiently, without saying another sound as Janet organized his file. She brought together all his notes, her findings, and his history, searching for any outstanding anomalies.

Nothing. She could find nothing.

Hearing movement, she glanced up, watching as Colonel O'Neill entered the room. He stepped aside, allowing the nurse to leave. Raising his eyebrows, he eyed her expectantly.

"Well, I'm happy to say, Sir, he's in perfect health, except for one small exception."

Janet reached into her pocket and withdrew a pair of glasses, handing them to Daniel. He accepted them, without question, and slid them on his face as if he had never lost them.

"Wow," he started, his eyes adjusting to the lenses. "That's different."

Janet grinned. Now, he looked like their Daniel.

Colonel O'Neill leaned over, nearly shoving himself in Daniel's face as he attempted to get his attention. "You recognize me now?"

Daniel looked up at him, studying him contemplatively. Finally, he broke from his thoughts, but kept his eyes on Colonel O'Neill.

"Has your hair always been that way?"

Janet frowned; O'Neill appeared slightly taken aback.

"What way?"

Bowing his head, Daniel allowed his gaze to fall to the floor. "Never mind," he stated quickly.

The colonel shot a curious look to Janet. She could only raise her hands. She wasn't even going to try to touch that one.

"So, he's okay to leave?" O'Neill stated, changing the subject.

"I see no reason to keep him here." She smiled, folding her arms over the folder and regarding Daniel softly. "Besides, I think it would be good for him to take a walk around."

He nodded. She was pleased. Maybe if Daniel saw some of the base, interacted with some of the people, his memories would return to him.

She shot him another genuine smile, watching as Jack guided the lost man out of the infirmary.

Janet sighed, clutching the file harder.

One could only hope.

The End
Current Mood: restlessrestless
fossil_human on October 31st, 2004 09:58 am (UTC)
Hey I enjoyed this. It's nice to see Janet, even though I have no idea what the hell is going on.