Log in

No account? Create an account
21 February 2008 @ 08:33 am
My First Fanfic  
Oh yeah. I'm going there.

When I was talking about my Mary Sue last week, I started thinking about my first fanfic. (Well, my first first fanfic was actually a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comic with art and dialogue. I don't have that scanned yet, so maybe once day I'll show you what that was about. But for the time being, we'll go with my first written fanfic.) My first fanfic included my Mary Sue, though to my surprise, when I dug up my old notes and handwritten pieces, she is not in it. She must have been planned for later on and I never got to it.

So what I have here is actually my very first draft of my first fanfic before I added the Sue, changed the direction of the story, changed the names, and finished it. I also have the subsequent drafts that followed, each cringeworthy in their own right, but nothing is as special and embarrassing as this first draft.

It's particularly notable if any of you have read any of my fic to see the vast difference from something written by a snotty forteen year old know-it-all, and a snotty twenty-something know-it-all ;) Of course, I think first fanfics speak for themselves.

Below is a snippet of a scene from this first fanfic. I believe the title ended up being Star Wars: Resurrection of Evil. Oh yeah.

Han narrowed his eyes and began to walk out.

Isabella looked at Chewbacca and the droids.

"I would like some privacy with my son," she demanded.

"Argrrr ghar," howled Chewbacca.

"All right, Chewie," Han yelled. "You can come if you catch up."

"Come on, Artoo. Let's leave," ordered Threepio.

"BEEP BOO OP DBOO," beeped Artoo.

"What do you mean, no? You will come now," demanded Threepio.

With that Artoo-Detoo rolled over to Luke.

"dEE oopt," he whistled, trying to nudge Luke to waken him.


"dOO Beep," beeped Artoo loudly. He wasn't very happy. He didn't want to leave but everyone was against him so he complied.

Isabella shut the door and smiled.

Now wasn't that special? Go ahead and laugh. It's okay. I'm laughing right with you.

So you know, the premise is that this woman claiming to be Luke and Leia's mother popped up. Our heroes, the intelligent people that they are, were all snowed over by this Sue in the making. In actuality, she was a Force witch who was after Luke (of course she was) and sent him into a coma to dig into his mind for information. She was working for someone who had claimed himself the heir to the Imperial throne and they needed as much info on Vader and the Emperor that they could get. Luke was the best source for this I guess.

I'm especially impressed with the random caps and the redundant speech tags. Got to love the one sentence paragraphs.

The rest of what I see here is filled with more character assassination. The characters are incredibly stupid. I can't believe how vacant Leia is. And I've liked Leia. Luke is kind of middle of the road. Han is fairly stupid. Lando is actually the brightest of the bunch, aside from Artoo who gets everything. While Lando has always impressed me with his cunning, he just comes off way way too smart here only because everyone else are idiots.

Again, save Artoo ;)

When I think back, I think I really should have known better. I always was praised for my creative writing works in school and this is particular low-quality coming from someone in their freshman year of high school. In fact, I am crazy enough to hold into all my notes and I can see that I changed direction, style, everything with this story very soon afterward.

That doesn't make it any better, though ;)

But I like to show this as proof that anyone can write bad fanfic. I joke and laugh and snicker at badfic on the net, but maybe one day some of those seriously bad writers will grow and learn and write something that will blow us all away. I look at my writing now and it's leaps and bounds beyond this. I'm still learning. I may not be the best of the best, but in terms of my own personal growth, I've come a long way.

So, for those of you who write, I dare you to post a piece of your first fanfic or if it's on the net already, post the link and a little snippet. Go ahead. Put it out there for everyone to see. Embrace it and be proud. You've come a long way, baby :)

(If any of the artists want to play, bring up one of your first pieces of art and compare it to something you made recently. Blows your mind, huh?)
Current Mood: deviousdevious
that which cannot be seentresa_cho on February 21st, 2008 02:13 pm (UTC)

Hee, I don't have my first fanfic, I wrote it in a blank book which is at my house. It was a Nancy Drew Mary Sue with every single friend I could think of to add in. Nancy's father adopted us ALL and so we were ALL sisters/brothers, and we helped her solve a case together. (There were like 30 of us - I moved around a lot when I was a kid, so I had friends in all sorts of places).

Thinking back on it makes me cringe, but it really impressed my fourth grade teacher when I walked around with a completed novel!
Working for the Mandroid: Corporalmoonshayde on February 21st, 2008 02:36 pm (UTC)

Well not too many people can say they've written a novel in grade 4. So go you ;)
seacrystal on February 21st, 2008 02:29 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure of exactly how did my first fiction work go, but I'm quite sure it involved a lot of fairies and pixies and flying chairs and self-baking loaves of breads and cakes LOL. My favourite childhood author is Enid Blyton after all. ;)
Working for the Mandroid: Broken (Clana)moonshayde on February 21st, 2008 02:34 pm (UTC)
Your first fiction world sounds like a lot of fun! ;)

I can't remember what my first real story was - story that was not derivative. I remembering writing a ghost story in 4th grade. But I think I started earlier than that.

Ah childhood.
Pepper: I can't lookpepper_field on February 21st, 2008 02:40 pm (UTC)
Hee! You're brave. I'd have to go and dig up my first fanfics, which were all on paper. The first one I posted to the internet, though, is reposted here: http://pepper-field.livejournal.com/94044.html.

It's an X-Files kidfic (Mulder and Scully meeting up as kids, that is), originally posted to the alt.creative.x-files newsgroup in 1995. *feels old*
Courser: Bite Me-MSshutthef_up on February 21st, 2008 02:45 pm (UTC)
Okay, I'll bite. My very first attempt at fanfic is lost in the annals of time, so I'll post a snippet from My first Stargate fanfic. Yes, it's still out there for all to see and mock. That's also my first attempt at a website, so feel free to mock that, too. It sucks, but I've never taken the time to do anything about it. Oh, Frontpage, how I loathe you.

A flash of light filled the briefing room and Jack had just a moment to think, ‘Ah, speak of the devil’, before the light had even faded. Left in its wake was no familiar gray alien, but a very unfamiliar, mostly naked woman.

"-come," She finished. One hand flew up to shield her eyes while the other raised a pistol. At this hour and for this briefing, there was only one SF on guard and he brought his rifle to bear on her. The men’s tank top she wore fit snugly and came just to the top of her thighs. Another centimeter and it would leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

The woman squinted and let out a shriek, followed by, "Who the hell are you? Get the fuck out of my…"She blinked at them, pointing her gun at each of them randomly before noticing her state of undress, "Oh, shit! Damn!"

The woman dove for cover, turning towards the SF, seeking some kind of refuge. Doctor Jackson happened to be closest and she crouched down beside his chair, putting him neatly between her and the man with the rifle.

"Don’t shoot!" Jackson said quickly, though even he wasn’t sure exactly who he was addressing. It didn’t really matter, since he was in the line of fire, either way.

The writing itself probably isn't horribly cringeworthy in the classic sense. It's the fact that my Mary Sue, Chris Whoever, sexes Daniel Jackson every which way in an aliens-made-them-do-it kind of way.

Because I'm a bit of a completist, I've always just left it up at my site with my other early fanfic, including the first few Come to Grief stories. It's gotten practically no feedback but one comment years ago said something like, "As Mary Sue fics, it's not as bad as it could be." Even at the time, I suspected the commenter was trolling for me to be an ass and reply with something like, "OMG! She's NOT a Mary Sue!" or something. I basically just said 'Thanks', thus depriving her of the pleasure of wanking me.

eve11: dw_headtardiseve11 on February 21st, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, crap. My first actual finished fic is still alive and kicking at the Gossamer archive.

um. Yeah, that was really, really painful. Point and laugh. It's okay.

And yeah, that was only ten years ago. So I don't even have the excuse of being a snotty teen-ager. Because I was a snotty 20-year-old college sophomore junior. Ay.

This is not my first fanfic *idea* though. That was a story that exists only in copious plot notes and a few scrawled scenes, somewhere in a little black notebook from the summer of 1996. It was Star Trek:TNG-- The Romulan empire has an outer colony world that is rebelling and tries to petition the federation for help but the federation has no desire to recognize them, since they don't want to get embroiled in a galactic war. It's a science colony and the wife of that Romulan that Geordi made reluctant friends with in "Enemy Mine" works there. Then almost the entire colony is wiped out by what looks suspiciously like a Romulan genocidal tactic (including said romulan's wife), and Geordi's friend, hell bent on revenge, turns on his government and tries to use personal channels to get the Enterprise involved. Meanwhile the attack is counter to a Fed-Romulan treaty and ban on mass chemical weapons, and the Federation's hand is called; they might actually have to go to war. Of course, things are not exactly as they seem. Anyway, it was convoluted and involved lots of plot and some original characters and as such never really got past notes. :)

Edited at 2008-02-21 03:03 pm (UTC)
flynn_boyant: Supernatural - More Fanfic?flynn_boyant on February 21st, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)
My first and thus far only ventures into fanfiction are actually on my LJ...at least I believe they are still on there. You have to go back a ways to get to them.

Maybe I'll repost.
*shudder* Man, early fic, it's a scary thing ;)
(Deleted comment)
Pepper: Gleepepper_field on February 21st, 2008 03:21 pm (UTC)
Hee! I've just remembered my never-finished B7 Mary Sue fic. Which I have lost, so couldn't possibly post. Thank god. What a pity.
Autumn Dandelion: Star Wars - You Are Beatenautumndandelion on February 21st, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
I didn't even know what I was writing was called fanfiction until I was in college, but I wrote it before that time. The first was a Little Mermaid choose your own adventure story that I wrote when I was ten or eleven years old. I did type it up and put it on fanfiction.net, but they took it down a few years back when they started making up a number of bullshit rules.

My second oldest fic is a Star Wars story that I wrote when I was thirteen or fourteen years old. It's called "Mission To Mos Eisley":

Barbara: Must Writehtbthomas on February 21st, 2008 05:00 pm (UTC)
I already posted what I consider my first fanfic a few days ago... but my first internet fanfic I wrote at the age of 34. Heh. So there haven't been the greatest advances in style or anything. :D I applaud all of you who discovered it so much earlier than I!
mysticalweather: A: (penni_ann) BadFicmysticalweather on February 21st, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Hehe! Your R2 rocks!!


It was hand-written when I was a teen, so my Mary Sued Nancy Drew fic is either somewhere in the upstairs part of my Mom and Dad's house...or it's long gone. I'll have to hunt for it one day when I'm over there and see if I can find it.

I had to do a bit of digging to figure out which of my D/J stories was officially the first one I'd written. I wrote 4 or so along the same premise: SAVE JANET!! But with some help from Gateworld.net's archive, where I first discovered fanfic, I figured it out.

It was Longtime Sunshine. Here's the ff.net link:


The story is about Daniel using a note from Cassie from the future (think 1969) that gives him dates and times of solar flares that will allow him to go back and save Janet's life.

And here's a snippet:

As much as he loved them, he doubted any of them would agree to help. Sam would probably go off on one of her scientific tangents about something like 'the ramifications of using time distortions to alter history.'

Teal'c would probably give him one of those "looks" of his. He'd raise his eyebrow and say in a completely even tone "Daniel Jackson, would it not be unwise to attempt to change the historical course of the Tau'ri?'

And Jack would probably make a noise between a laugh and a cough and say, oh so delicately, "Are you nuts? Our asses got kicked the last we were on that damn planet."

Daniel sighed, realizing his mind was in "worse-case scenario" mode again. It wasn't fair of him to prejudge what his friends would say. Daniel remembered the memorial service they'd held for Janet. He thought about the kind words Sam had spoken, and recalled Teal'c's contribution to her speech. It was all Daniel could do not to cry when Sam had read his name aloud. It was a wonderful way to honor Janet's life. And injured as he was, Jack didn't beg out of attending. Daniel knew Sam, Teal'c, and Jack cared a lot for Janet. And they would want to see her again as much as anyone.

Daniel pondered over why his thoughts were so negative towards his friends --- hell, his family! Daniel's mind raced with images. Memories of his parent as they died...of Sha're as she gave birth to the child of Apophis...of Sarah's deep depression after Osiris had been removed, and of Janet as her lifeless body lay before him. He had failed every one of them. He couldn't help but feel responsible for the terrible things that had happened to those whom he cared for the most. Daniel realized that the nagging voices in his head were not those of his friends, but those of his own self-doubt.

'I don't know if I can do this.' But he had no choice. Daniel wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try to go back and save Janet. If nothing else, he could tell her that he loves her and finally release this terrible burden he'd been carrying around for so long.

And if he truly couldn't save her, maybe this time he'd be lucky enough to die with her.

Daniel shook his head, willing his thoughts to clear. It dawned on him that Sam and Teal'c weren't even there. Sam had been sent to help overhaul some of the systems on the Prometheus. And Teal'c was off-world with his son, Rya'c.

'What about Jack?' Daniel wondered, hoping his friend wasn't off somewhere fishing.

At that moment Jack chose to walk into Daniel's lab. 'How's that for timing?' Daniel thought.

"Hey Danny-boy, I was just headed down to get some cake, wanna tag along?"

"Actually, Jack, I need to talk to you about something very important."

"More important than cake?"

"Yes." Daniel said as he got up to shut the door.

"I doubt it," he heard Jack mutter as he sat on the corner of Daniel's desk. "What's up?"

Daniel sighed, silently praying that this conversation would go better than the one he'd just had with General Hammond.

Emo!Daniel! Teal'c off world with Rya'c! Danny-boy! Jack and his love for cake! This fic has it all! LOL!! *wipes tear*


ridin' the star milestargazercmc on February 21st, 2008 09:06 pm (UTC)
Um... it's already out there. Still over in my fic journal. A drabble, really. I don't think it counts much.
MegTDJ: George Storytime - moonshaydemeg_tdj on February 21st, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! You rock. ;)

I started writing fanfic when I was 5, though. You really want me to post that? :P