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05 June 2008 @ 09:49 am
SPN Fic: Affliction of the Soul  
Short Sam-centric piece that is a tag to No Rest for the Wicked

Title: Affliction of the Soul
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Three
Category: Character Study, Ficlet, Episode Tag
Spoilers: Bedtime Stories, Mystery Spot, No Rest for the Wicked
Summary: Even at the end, Sam is haunted by the Crossroad Demon's words.
Word Count: 412
Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Supernatural and its characters are the property of Eric Kripke and co. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This is for entertainment purposes only; no financial profit has been gained from this story. This story is not mean to infringe upon the rights of the above-mentioned establishments.


No more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. You can finally be free.

Those words had haunted Sam for months. At first, he had been angry. He had sped back to the hotel, flying at speeds that would have even made Dean nervous. He had wanted nothing more than to burn away the sting and bite of her voice, of everything she implied about him, his soul, his very self.

He hadn't slept at all that night. Instead, he had carried the weight of the Crossroad Demon's words, finding himself sick and nauseated from their bitter taste.

But then something happened. As the days passed, the anger had started to fade, yet the words persisted. They buzzed by his ear, teasing him and tempting him, reminding him of the burdens he carried. Every day would be different, but also the same. No matter the city or town or county or state, they found themselves in a rundown, half-rate roach motel, with Dean's sloppiness oozing out of every crevasse and crack in the moldy walls.

He carried Dean's recklessness. He carried Dean's total disregard for himself. He carried Dean's desperation and insecurities and complete lack of self-worth. He carried this affliction every day, and he found himself hoping, just maybe once or twice, that it would be over, and he wouldn't have to worry anymore.

It had almost happened back on that miserable day in February. Sam had tasted the cruel, harsh life that awaited him. He had felt the grief change. The pit in his stomach had become dark and hollow, filled with a rage and power so carnivorous that it threatened to consume him.

Sam raised his blood soaked hand and wiped the tears from his face.

He had won that time, but the words hadn't set him free. They turned and twisted, becoming more aggressive, more persistent, clawing at his mind until it bled red and raw. They didn't speak of freedom. They only spoke of never ending torment that he knew would never leave him and of a cruel reality of what he really was inside.

Carefully, Sam eased Dean's body onto the floor and closed his dead empty eyes. He sat back on his haunches and stared into the shadows.

There wouldn't be any more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean, but Sam also knew he would never be free. While Dean burned a thousand times over in the fires of Hell, Sam would serve his own personal hell here on Earth.
Current Mood: awakeawake
mehhhhhh: [Janet] hugscnidarian on June 5th, 2008 02:35 pm (UTC)
Want to read! But can't! :(
*squishes for no good reason at all* :)

[ooh need a spn icon that doesn't reveal any affiliations.. hmm. Ooh an Impala!icon, maybe?]

Edit: fic? eh? I meant icon.

Edited at 2008-06-05 02:36 pm (UTC)
Working for the Mandroid: Headlightsmoonshayde on June 5th, 2008 03:04 pm (UTC)
Ah, don't be on these threads. You can't be spoiled!

Impala icons are always nice. Or if you are trying to avoid a war between me and Meg, you could go with an icon that had both the boys.
mehhhhhh: [SPN] mmm Impala...cnidarian on June 5th, 2008 03:06 pm (UTC)
I closed my eyes to scroll down, I promise!

Ahh, but maybe my secret is that the real reason I watch is my car!crush, eh? ;)
Working for the Mandroid: Impalamoonshayde on June 5th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
LOL! See, you always win if you fangirl the car ;)
Jaime: SPN: Everything to Meninth_lady on June 5th, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)
Very haunting.

Great fic though!
Working for the Mandroid: Not Deadmoonshayde on June 5th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
jessm78jessm78 on June 5th, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC)
This was great. I loved your use of imagery to describe the conflict inside Sam, his own personal hell that remains even though he is apparently "free."

Beautiful job. :)

(which reminds me, I *really* need to finish reading your last SPN fic...the multi-part one)
Working for the Mandroid: Boredmoonshayde on June 5th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I just love that finale so much :)
I hope the other long one I wrote didn't bore you into oblivion or something LOL
jessm78: Supernatural: Sam in ELAC (jessm78 on June 5th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
I do too! (and on a completely different note, I love your icon...hee :D)

Nah, not at all! I have it in my memories, I just never got a chance to finish reading the last part. It's definitely at the top of my list for things I'm going to do this weekend though :)
MegTDJmeg_tdj on June 5th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Nice title. ;)
Working for the Mandroid: Boredmoonshayde on June 6th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
It's as good as it's going to get LOL
the rain not the fire: Metallicar *purr*platysseus on June 6th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
Ah, cool fic. Especially that last sentence. Oh, Dean. Oh, Sam... Oh, Metallicar. *sniffs*

Btw, thanks to this fic I found you on Supernatural.tv (this is me). ;)

Edited at 2008-06-06 01:55 am (UTC)
Working for the Mandroid: Across Realmsmoonshayde on June 6th, 2008 02:30 am (UTC)
Oh nice. Now I know someone over there :)

Though, I haven't been very active. The forum scares me a bit. I am dying to have some conversations, but I kind of get lost in the shuffle.

Thanks for reading :)